Donald Trump never stops singing his own praises. He probably really does believe he is truly brilliant, but apart from having caused global chaos in just seven weeks, what has he actually achieved?

The answer can be summed up in one word: nothing, absolutely nothing, while his failures are as numerous as they are spectacular.

Twice already, he has announced the imposition of 25% customs duties on Canadian and Mexican imports and twice he has immediately backed down, postponing these decisions to calm the stock markets that were beginning to spiral downwards all over the world.

Investors and industrialists are clearly not convinced by the benefits of these customs barriers, which Donald Trump himself says, and believes, will reindustrialise the United States by bringing jobs and wealth to the country. They have made this known, and since this president and his friends hate to see their wallets go thin, the United States will be waiting for their miracle cure.

Not exactly glorious and even less honourable, but what can we say about Gaza? As a visionary, Donald Trump had come up with a plan for this coastal strip that had become a pile of ruins still largely controlled by Hamas. A very simple plan: after emptying it of its two million inhabitants, it was going to be turned into a Trump Riviera dotted with hotels and casinos and now controlled by the United States.

No one had thought of this before. Well done, remarkable, but neither Egypt nor Jordan want these two million Gazans who would have had to be evacuated with their feet chained, and this plan, which constitutes a crime against humanity, is… How can I put it?

It is a shipwreck, as is the credibility of this man, who has already had to disown his right-hand man, that other genius Elon Musk, who had antagonised the ministers by reducing their numbers without asking their opinion. They came to no other place but the Oval Office to protest, which they did so vehemently that Donald Trump has now decided that layoffs should be performed with a scalpel rather than a chainsaw.

Well done, Mr President, we could not have put it better ourselves, but what is the state of Europe, this European Union that you have just said was created only to ‘screw the United States’ and that you obviously want to dismantle?

Well, it has exceeded all your expectations since it has unanimously, including Hungary, decided to adopt a common defence policy to ensure its ‘autonomy’, Great Britain has rallied to this ambition, London, Paris and Berlin are now united in a common desire to do without you and the Europeans have never been as united as they are today.

There, your success is frankly dazzling, but there is still Ukraine. You have shown the whole world how you could treat, in the person of its president, a people who have been fighting for three years to face up to a colonial aggression. Compared to Volodymyr Zelinsky, you and your vice-president were nothing more than gang leaders of appalling vulgarity, but now?

You have deprived Ukraine of weapons and intelligence. You have closed the doors of the Atlantic Alliance to it. You have stabbed it in the back but how are you going to demilitarise it, a condition set by Vladimir Putin for the signing of an agreement?

You will not be able to. You will not be able to prevent the Europeans from helping and arming Ukraine, and it is therefore far from certain that you will reach a deal with your friend in the Kremlin or that this deal will last for long.

You have caused so much damage and accumulated so many failures in seven weeks that you have already earned your nickname: Nero, the grotesque and devastating emperor who also thought he was a genius.

(Photo: ChatGPT)